


"the romance of it all (every hidden morsel)"

by Erisabesu (ErisabesuFic)



Category: Naruto
Genre: 60 minutes to gift, ANBU Chief!Yamato, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Discord: Tenzō's Cabin, Fluff and Humor, Hokage!Kakashi, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Non-Massacre AU, Police Chief!Itachi, Polyamory, Romance, did i mention humor, mentioned: NaruSasuSai
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:01:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27891178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ErisabesuFic/pseuds/Erisabesu
Summary: "Date someone with a respected position, they said.  Find a good provider who will take care of you, they said.  They'd probably think that landing the Hokage and the Chief of Police was the meal ticket of all meal tickets, setting him up for life.  But they'd be so very wrong."Written for the Tenzo's Cabin Discord Server event - 60 minutes to gift! ♥
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Uchiha Itachi/Yamato | Tenzou
Comments: 12
Kudos: 19
Collections: Found Family 60-minutes





	"the romance of it all (every hidden morsel)"

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TenzoYamato](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TenzoYamato/gifts).



> for Brandon! ♥
> 
> Note: This is a canon divergence AU where the Uchiha massacre didn't happen, so Itachi (and Sasuke) never went rogue, but there were still many problems in Konoha and the Shinobi world. This story is set when Kakashi is Hokage, Root has been deconstructed and merged into a proper ANBU with Tenzou as the head (a.k.a. shadow Kage ♥), and Fugaku has retired to Wave Country and left his eldest son Itachi in charge of the Uchiha Police Force. Having cut their teeth in Root and ANBU together at a young age, Tenzou, Kakashi, and Itachi have a strong bond that eventually led them to a happy long-term polyamorous cohabitating relationship. They are around ages 25, 32, and 34 in this story.

### "the romance of it all (every hidden morsel)"

As the border of Konohagakure came into view, Tenzou felt relief in his chest, as he always did when coming home from a mission. As the Chief of ANBU, it was rare that Tenzou took missions in the field, but this one was different--the three ANBU in his squad were up for promotion to Captain, and he always liked to observe his subordinates in the field personally before making any decisions.

The mission didn't include assassination this time, but its difficulty was severe enough for Tenzou to be able to gauge their individual decision making abilities, creativity, and teamwork, and he had to say he was pleased with the results. Each of them were fine ANBU, and had come a very long way in the last two years since their recruitment. 

However.

There were a few things that he was not so pleased about, such as the sounds coming from the ANBU locker room showers the minute he'd finished scrubbing away the week's worth of dirt and sweat and had retreated with a towel to get dressed in his civvies. 

Tenzou sighed, shaking his head at the breathy moans and wet slurping kisses coming from the other room. It was no secret that Sai, Naruto, and Sasuke had become a thing in the last year, and had moved in together the previous month. So it wasn't terribly surprising that they would be handsy at the first chance they could get, especially after catching them twice during the mission canoodling in a tent when he'd built them a perfectly respectable three-story custom designed temporary shelter in the traditional style with his mokuton jutsu, that had separate bedrooms for a _reason_. It was disappointing that on a dangerous mission where all three of them were up for promotion, they couldn't keep their pants zipped, although a single warning about it was all that they'd needed to fall back in line. 

So maybe they were rather pent up after that, and he couldn't really blame them. But seriously--couldn't they have waited a few more minutes until he'd left the building before jumping each other? 

There was more to a relationship than sexual chemistry. If that's all they had, he worried for their future.

Once Tenzou had toweled his hair dry and packed his ANBU gear to be laundered, he slung his duffel bag over his shoulder and started to leave.... but then thought better of it. He wasn't their father, nor that much of a father figure, exactly (except maybe to Sai, who was sorta like his son in a way). But Sasuke's father was not around to give any advice, and the closest father figure to Naruto was Kakashi, so... yeah that was also a dead end. Tenzou sighed again, and decided it was up to him.

He headed back towards the showers, mindful of the wet tiles, and ignoring the hushed moans and rhythmic breathing as he approached. When he was one shower stall away from the throuple, their heads and shoulders in plain view, he gently cleared his throat to get their attention. "Ahem."

All three wet heads swung in Tenzou's direction, wearing similar expressions of mortification. Naruto let out a "meep" and clung tighter to Sasuke in front of him, who glared and pulled Sai in closer to Naruto's back.

"Do you _mind?"_ Sasuke snapped.

"We were just--uh--" Naruto started, but Sai cut in.

"You said to wait until the mission was over."

Tenzou held up his hand. "I did, and I'll be on my way, but I hope you know it takes a lot more than sex to have a successful relationship."

All three young men groaned.

Tenzou sighed again. "I'm serious! You need to have more than just the physical stuff, you've got to have..." he gestured in the air with both hands, vaguely, "some romance!"

Naruto was fidgeting, and started to look flushed. "Ok, Yamato-taichou, can we talk with you about this later?" he squeaked.

Tenzou put his hands on his hips. "I'm just saying. Try to work in some romance here and there. Like, go on a date! Cook a nice dinner for each other, those things are important too."

"God, enough already," Sasuke complained, looking even more irritable than usual. "We get it, just... _go away."_

Tenzou held up his hands. "Alright. Just wanted to mention it. Now carry on, er--"

Ignoring him, Sai had already tilted Naruto's head around and began to kiss him passionately, and Sasuke latched onto Naruto's neck, eliciting a muffled whimper. Tenzou turned on his heel and left the locker room in haste, grateful to emerge from the building into the fresh air of a lovely temperate evening in his hometown of Konohagakure. He pointed his shoes towards the house where Itachi and Kakashi would be waiting for him, and smiled, thinking he might also be a little pent up and would be very glad to see them both.

* * *

"I'm home!" Tenzou called from the entryway, slipping off his shoes and leaving his bag for later. He padded into the living space and then stopped, eyes flicking over the piles of books and magazines all over the furniture, along with scattered trails of laundry and possibly every teacup they owned littering any available surface of the room, except for the coffee table, which had a pile of take-out cartons on it.

"Ah, were you coming back today?" Kakashi chuckled, rubbing the back of his head.

Tenzou's eyes settled on his boyfriends, both on the couch--the one clean surface he could see--with their legs casually entwined and books on their laps: "Icha Icha Tactics" and "Advanced Torture and Interrogation Techniques, vol. 273."

"Welcome home," said Itachi.

Tenzou frowned, wondering why they were both in their bathrobes, although this was one of about a thousand questions on his lips because the whole place looked like a pig sty.

"Do I even want to see the kitchen?" he asked, half joking. But when the two of them exchanged a subtly nervous glance, all the humor drained from Tenzou's face and he put both hands over his cheeks to steady himself. 

The kitchen was even worse. The sink piled up with pans and dishes, the table a mess of spilled flour and pyramids of styrofoam take-out containers, plastic silverware everywhere. He checked the refrigerator--full, except for the eggs. How had they eaten six dozen eggs in a week?

Tenzou pulled out a chair, swept the hidden pile of laundry from the seat onto the floor and plopped down, feeling defeated. This was another reason he hardly went into the field anymore--how could he forget? 

Date someone with a respected position, they said. Find a good provider who will take care of you, they said. They'd probably think that landing the Hokage _and_ the Chief of Police was the meal ticket of all meal tickets, setting him up for life. But they'd be so very _wrong._

This was the most un-romantic homecoming he'd ever had, adding insult to injury after his lofty speech earlier at ANBU Headquarters. What was he even thinking?

Just then, Kakashi and Itachi came into the kitchen, hands in the pockets of their bathrobes.

"Sorry about the kitchen," Itachi said. "You must be hungry. I will clean it up."

Tenzou raised his hand abruptly, fearing what might happen to their kitchen, and to their home. "No, no, I'll do it. It's fine."

"Are you mad about the laundry?" Kakashi asked, coming over to Tenzou and resting his hands on Tenzou's shoulders, squeezing him comfortingly. "Because I can do it all tonight, nothing to worry about."

Tenzou's eyes squinted, remembering a previous disaster that he'd never want to be repeated. "No, Kakashi--please don't. I'll handle it."

Kakashi grinned down at him, and then bent to kiss his cheek. "Thanks, Tenzou. You really are the best."

"I will be glad for new laundry too," said Itachi.

Tenzou glanced over at Itachi, long hair loose over one shoulder though it lacked its usual shine, and then back at Kakashi, wild haired as usual. Tenzou's eyes narrowed further. "Wait. Is that why you're both in bathrobes?"

Kakashi and Itachi looked at each other, and then back to Tenzou. They shrugged.

"Unbelievable!" Tenzou threw his hands in the air, and stood up.

"Now now, Tenzou," Kakashi held up his hands to pacify him. "We did try, honestly. Don't be mad."

"Oh I'm not mad," Tenzou gave a sarcastic chuckle. "I'm confused! When did I become your _mother?_ Where did all the romance go?"

Kakashi and Itachi both frowned at this. Itachi crossed his arms and touched his chin, lost in thought.

"What do you mean?" Kakashi asked. "We've got lots of romance."

Tenzou gave him a deadpan look. 

Itachi cleared his throat. "And I already have a mother. So you could not be her."

Tenzou rolled his eyes. "Well I might as well be your mother since apparently I'm the only one who can cook or do laundry or take care of the house at all."

"I was not allowed to learn those tasks, but you are very good at them," Itachi agreed. "So if you are the mother then I am the father."

"I beg your pardon?" Kakashi protested.

"If we follow the analogy, in heteronormative terms, then the father is the leader of the household and sets the expectations and is in charge of discipline," Itachi replied calmly. "Therefore, I am the father."

Tenzou couldn't help the amused smirk on his mouth at the way Itachi phrased this comparison, but when the cut of Itachi's gaze traps Tenzou in place, that single look is enough to bring heat to Tenzou's cheeks and start his blood pooling south, remembering their last _discipline_ session in great detail. He nods a concession, and Itachi's lips curve in the barest acknowledgement.

"I am the Hokage!" Kakashi stated, hands on his hips. "And the oldest. If anyone's the father, it's me."

This time Tenzou and Itachi shared an amused look.

"What's so funny?" Kakashi demanded.

Tenzou and Itachi both shrugged. Then they said in unison, "Because you're the _child."_

"Oh for fuck's sake!" Kakashi sighed in frustration.

"If we follow the analogy, in heteronormative terms--" Itachi began, but was waved off by Kakashi.

"Nevermind, nevermind!" Kakashi ran his hands through his hair, and then turned back to Tenzou. "If you want to play Mommy, it's fine, but you don't have to, you know. We'll still be here with you even if you never cook for us or clean for us again."

Tenzou lifted a brow. "Is that supposed to sound romantic?"

Kakashi rolled his eyes, "Yes, actually, since you brought it up."

"Then it's terrible," Tenzou retorted.

"Tenzou, may I ask why you think there is no romance between us?" Itachi asked, coming closer.

Tenzou gestured to the garbage and laundry and unwashed dishes around them. "Do you really have to ask?"

"I just said--" Kakashi started, but Itachi put a hand on his arm. 

"Then, is a clean house something romantic to you?" Itachi asked. 

At this, Tenzou frowned. It was hard to put into words, but he could see Itachi's point. "That's not... exactly it."

"What is it, Tenz?" Kakashi asked.

Tenzou shrugged. "Well, I've been gone a week, and I was... missing you." He looked at each of them, then rubbed his neck. "And I thought... I don't know, that maybe you, um..."

"...Missed you too?" Kakashi filled in the blank. Tenzou nodded. "Of course we missed you, Tenz. Every day."

"Yes," Itachi agreed, coming to stand closer to Tenzou. "But maybe we didn't show you yet how much we missed you."

"Good point," Kakashi murmured. "We haven't shown him anything yet."

Itachi took one of Tenzou's hands, and Kakashi took the other, and Tenzou sighed but let them lead him out of the kitchen. When they turned the corner towards the bedroom, his heart gave a leap of excitement--he really was very pent up, especially after dealing with Sasuke, Naruto, and Sai with their twenty-year-old hormones raging--but then just as quick, his heart panged to think that maybe they were defaulting to the sexual chemistry they shared. He frowned, and tugged on his lover's hands, digging in his heels. 

He didn't want their relationship to be only about sex, and it scared him to think that maybe sex was all they had. 

"W-wait, I--" Tenzou looked at them, unsure how to explain his fears.

"C'mon," Kakashi smiled, tilting his head towards the master bedroom.

"Let us take care of you," Itachi added, squeezing Tenzou's hand.

Tenzou searched their faces, which were bright and open, the faces of the men he loved. And he took a deep breath, and let them take the lead.

In the bedroom, Tenzou's brows shot up to see a new addition--right by the sliding glass doors that overlooked his garden, there was a giant bean bag chair, big enough for all three of them. Outside the sunset peeking through the trees was gorgeous, and inside, he saw dozens of candles lined up on the dressers and nightstands. Itachi lit these with his katon jutsu, appropriately condensed for inside use, while Kakashi ensconced Tenzou in the middle of the beanbag chair.

"What is all this?" Tenzou asked, wondering where this was going. 

Kakashi smirked, lying down beside him. "Hold that thought." He turned to the sliding glass door, and pushed it open with his foot just in time for Pakkun to arrive carring a bag of takeout food.

"Special delivery," Pakkun grumped, and then went back out the way he came.

Tenzou laughed, and tried to sit up on his elbows to see what was in the container. 

Itachi picked it up and then joined Tenzou and Kakashi on the bean bag chair. "We'll be feeding you, tonight," he said.

"Oh really?" Tenzou said, lifting one eybrow and smiling. 

"Yes, Tenzou," Kakashi said, brushing his hair from his face and kissing him on the forehead. "Because we know you like romantic shit--ow!" Itachi had kicked him, but Kakashi continued. "So we're gonna romance you a little bit." 

"I see," Tenzou said, a grin playing on his lips. 

Itachi held up a gyoza dumpling with his chopsticks, and said, "Open."

Tenzou took a bite, and it was heavenly. He closed his eyes, and savored the moments where Itachi and Kakashi took turns feeding him--and each other--bite sized foodstuffs: dumplings, eggrolls, grapes, strawberries, and tiny confections from the bakery that were sweet and sticky and led to some very romantic finger licks and kisses.

"What now?" Tenzou asked, feeling mellow and affectionate and warm. 

"Now's when I tell you that the bed has clean sheets," Kakashi chuckles. "Which we changed just for you."

"If you want," Itachi added, stroking a finger down Tenzou's chest. "Or we can stay here, and lie close like this."

"It's called cuddling," Kakashi commented.

Tenzou laughed. "I'm good right here for a little while," he said. But he glanced over to the bed, which did look freshly made and inviting. "And then maybe we can relocate?"

"Absolutely," Kakashi agreed, leaning over to kiss him thoroughly.

"I'd love that," Itachi nodded. Bending down to give him another lengthy, lingering kiss.

Tenzou blinked, a little dazed. "I really love you guys."

Kakashi and Itachi laughed, lacing their hands through Tenzou's. 

"We know."

fin. ♥

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed! ♥


End file.
